Re-evaluate

I'm my own worst enemy, random is my philosophy..

The thrill to live on the edge, the boredom of wise decisions is what thrives me but drives me further away from myself..

I choose to lose the battles I fight within myself, driven by the curiosity of the outcome..

I watch my body and my life fall into pieces and only have a disinterested shrug as response "I can always fix it again"..

I crave for more, I seek and push for my limits..

And still, even though and after all, I'm not ready to let go, I'm not ready to lose it all, I'm not ready to be done and dusted.. Life's too damn interesting!

I've read somewhere that "what you risk reveals what you value"..
Life's all I've got, I guess I have to re-evaluate..

Maybe it's because I find challenges exciting, maybe it's because it keeps me going, maybe it's because I'm not used to and therefore not satisfied with a mediocre life..

Maybe I just need to grow up! But maybe the thought of that bores me!